"..and the world will be a better place.."

Recently I was called on to furnish a story from JVC that has been representative of my experience this year. I struggled trying to think of one moment, event or story, etc.. I began to think about my day to day interactions with tenants and housemates and quickly remembered my thoughts coming into this year.

I guess you can say I'm a bit of a dreamer, and coming into this year, I was convinced that I would be able to make a contribution of measurable change. I thought that by joining JVC, I would be well on my way to "saving the world." I think most people are under that impression when they start a commitment of service, but I like so many others before me, quickly realized that this "saving the world" business would be a whole lot harder than I had anticipated.

What I realized over the course of these last 9 months or so with JVC is that, this is the beginning of something bigger. This year is about building relationships, learning who people are and what they need. I have journeyed alongside tenants this year who are unique and sometimes even difficult, I have learned from them and have begun to see why they are the way they are. I have heard stories from people's past that have honestly scared the crap out of me & even caused me to fear these people, but I have gotten over these fears.

I have begun to see the value in walking with people and not working for them. How will injustices ever be solved if we don't really know what the people need? I spoke with a girl about a month ago who was interested in JVC and considering my position for next year. Her goal was to obtain empolyment working for housing policy that would benefit the homeless. She ultimately decided against working at CG, but I couldn't help but think that she was passing up her ticket to her ideal job. I think there is so much value in being on the bottom of the totem pole and working your way up. I feel like too often there are people in positions of power who don't take the time to find out what is wanted by those in need, they just make policies they persume will benefit society, and often end up wasting a ton of money. Ok I'm getting a little off topic..

So anyway, in searching for my story I came to the conclusion that I haven't done much of anything this year besides make a bunch a friends. Yesterday one of the tenants that I've been working with for reading help came into the office. In normal fashion she gave me a treat to feed her dog Lucky and began her usual routine of saying "Colleen mommy, kelly mommy, kisha mommy.. that's why you're name's lucky because you're so lucky..." Kelly mentioned that it was my birthday and a few hours later she returned to the office with a box filled with Canal Street Jewelry. Later on that day one of my "favorite" tenants came by (the one who calls and talks for an hour straight, not expecting or wanting a response or allowing you to get a word in). He sang to me for 35 minutes straight, everything from Elton John "your song" to the Mr. Rogers Theme song. I actually kind of enjoyed it and even chimed in at times!! So yeah, maybe "changing the world" isn't in the cards for me this year, but changing myself is. I've learned that being afraid of people or places is a flat out waste of time, I also learned to be patient, and to open my heart. Some of the people I considered the most difficult at the start of this whole thing I can now tolerate and even enjoy from time to time.

After considering all of this, I did think of a story. It involved an older man who had been denying his hearing loss all year and finally came to the office inquiring as to how high my co-worker turns up the volume on her tv. He then approached me mentioning a bunch of stories from his childhood and he said something along the lines of: "it's weird because I can remember all these things from when I was young but I can't remember what I ate yesterday or where my keys are. I've been having trouble remembering a lot of things lately, it's really strange." It was sad to hear him acknowledge all these things. We sugguested he see the nurse and ask her about maybe getting a hearing aid, and he took our advice. He's been coming in the office a few times a week since I've been here, and you can't have a conversation with him, just let him talk to you because he can't hear any responses. I was glad he felt confortable enough with me and my co-workers to come to us about the situation, because I know it was really hard for him to do so. I'm hoping this helps him.

Maybe I was under the wrong impression coming into this year. Large scale immediate change would probably be too dramatic to actually work being that resisting change seems to be in our nature as humans. Perhaps the way a real difference can be made in our society is through our relationships with each other. I was listening to Obama's commencement address to the graduates of Notre Dame the other day and he mentioned how we need to build bridges, that the gay activist and the conservative pastor both work tirelessly to see an end to HIV/AIDS, but cannot find common ground and work together. It depresses me to think that there can be cures to diseases out there and solutions to social injustices but they cannot be grasped because people will not collaborate for one reason or another (due to prejudices or fears, differences in religion, race, sexual orientation, etc..). It makes me think that there is such a simple solution to the problems of this world..

"..put a little love in your heart.."